I have written in a journal, not always consistently, for the past 45 years or so. I have found writing down what I am thinking helps me think through what is bothering me or lets me ‘see’ another perspective. I realized as I was re-reading some of the entries to my journal, that the What Now? can be a question for internal search as well as taking external action.
I read an entry about changing my story. Perhaps that is where we need to start at times. Change the blaming, victim, woe is me story to taking responsibility and deliberately deciding to look at our lives differently.
This is not an easy task especially if you have repeated your old story over and over so much that it is etched in your head. Changing it is not easy, but it can be done. What Now? To start a new story, you need to have an idea of what you want from life. To take that step side-ways and look at yourself objectively. By looking at your old story with interest, curiosity and with no attachment, you could find it easier to let it go. If your old story was painful, do you really want to continue down that path? I didn’t. It hurt too much. I was angry and frustrated too often. I couldn’t control other people’s thoughts or actions. But I could control how it affected me. There is a book called The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. One of the agreements is to not take anything personally. What others say or do is their perception of you not who you really are.
When I realized and accepted that I had a choice, I started to change the direction and started to write a new story. One that filled my life with light, love, hope and laughter.
I was reading how we as adults have forgotten how to play as children do. We are so trapped by our past and so focused on our future, that we forget to enjoy the present, this moment in time, to show up and just play. I am guilty of doing the same thing. But I am becoming more aware of it and that makes a difference. The more I let go of the past, trust I will be taken care of in the future, the more I enjoy the present moment. Sitting on my deck in the morning, watching and listening to the birds, feeling the breeze and sun on my skin, I am grateful and blessed to be alive this very moment.
What is your new story of What Now?